What A Shitty Weekend...

This weekend has sucked more then any I can remember in the recent years.
Friday night we had a budget meeting with my dad about how we were going to afford the house. Turns out we can afford it, but we are not giving ourselves any leway for anything. He said he would stand behind us no matter what we decided, but ask ourselves "Do we want to get ourselves into the same type of position again..." Nick and I talked for a long time on Saturday and decided that no we don't want to put ourselves in a bad place, especially with how hard we've worked to get out of debt. Plus with my job being up in the air as much as it is, it just wouldn't be a good idea to purchase a house right now.

We are so disappointed to say the least. I spent a lot of Saturday crying feeling sorry for myself, but I didn't know what else to do. We have worked so hard, we both have good jobs, Nick more so then mine, and here we are still living with my parents. It doesn't make you feel very good about yourself. Nick & I got the idea to see if we could extend the closing until the end of June. Just to give us some time with my job, so we can have a feel for where it's going and to make sure we can afford the house. They agreed! We were so excited... of course that was short lived because this morning we were told that in order to get the closing that late we have to give $2000 in the earnest fund, but it was nonrefundable. That was just not an option for us so we had to pass on the house. Another disappointment and so today was another shitty day. I just feel about worthless and not sure how to feel better. Hopefully within the next few days things get better for us.

It makes me hate my job even more. To think if I could work 40 hours a week we could afford the house. To know that my hours won't get cut, or that maybe I could get a raise, well then we could get a house. I'm beyond upset, hurt, frustrated and mad...I just don't know how to feel, but had to get my feeling down on paper.